A Quickfire Dating Guide For Anti-Woke Men
10 concise (and blunt) tips to help you in your dating journey.
If you’re a single, anti-woke man whose struggling to find a partner that isn’t woke, feminist, LGBTQIA+, liberal, or just downright crazy, selfish, or evil, then this quickfire dating guide is for you.
If you’re feeling disillusioned, angry, or helpless about the whole dating process and feel like completely giving up your search for a partner, then this guide is for you.
If you’ve been sucked into an online echo chamber of nihilism, cynicism, and self-proclaimed male victimhood, but sense that this isn’t the best way forward for you, then this guide is for you.
Before we get into it, I want to state upfront that I’m no dating guru. I don’t have a supermodel hanging on each arm, I’m not playing the field every weekend, and I don’t have secret tactics that will get you any woman you want. But what I do have is the experience of being a single man like you, and also of being a married man with kids. I’ve been married for nearly ten years now, and I believe this should be your goal too: to get married and raise children.
If you agree, then what follows are 10 concise, and well, blunt, tips to help you in your dating journey.
Let’s begin.
1: Take Full Responsibility For Your Results
No one owes you anything. You’re not owed a girlfriend or partner or wife, anymore than the distant descendant of a long dead slave is owed reparations, or a man claiming to be a woman is owed respect. If things aren’t going well for you in the dating realm, you need to take 100% responsibility for it - no one else is to blame; society isn’t to blame.
This might sound harsh, but even if you could objectively point to say modern society bearing some of the blame, it would do you zero good to think that way. That would mean relegating the success of your dating endeavours to factors beyond your control. You’d be a victim, unable to change anything about your circumstances and subject to the whims of others. That’s not where you want to be.
Now, if you already take responsibility for your results, great. If you don’t, then it’s essential you start doing so. None of the tips that follow work without this.
2: Look In The Mirror
You should ask yourself the following questions and answer from the perspective of the type of woman you want to attract. In other words, put yourself in her shoes.
Question A - If I were this woman, would I want to date me? Why or why not?
Question B - If I were this woman and got to know me as I am today, what are the things I would like about me and the things I would dislike about me?
If you answer these questions honestly, you will have a list of things you can work on. We’ll come back to this in tips 6 and 7.
3: Be Anti-Feminist, Not Anti-Woman
We live in a time of division. The woke are running amok in our society, and it’s tempting to respond in a way that throws the baby out with the bathwater. Yes, modern feminism is bad, but don’t let it taint your view of women in general. They are two different things. One is an ideology promulgated by idiot academics and activists, the other is one of two sexes of the human species born of god or nature (depending on what you believe).
Women have played and will continue to play a critical role in our society, so remember to maintain a sense of perspective within the current madness.
4: Search Smarter, Not Harder
If you want to find a non-woke woman then you might struggle if you’re looking for them in academia, the non-profit sector, the entertainment industry, the media, the civil service, and so on. Instead you might want to target occupations that don’t require them to lean into masculine traits or display their unwavering allegiance to woke ideology. Some examples that come to mind are: in beauty, childcare, hospitality, and healthcare (putting covid aside here).
If you’re looking for someone in more white collar roles then the business world is fine - not in HR, but in practical, results focused roles like marketing or sales, or else in administration, operations, or finance. Women in these kinds of roles tend to have their heads screwed on straighter (though they might exude some masculine traits, at least in their work context). These are of course massive generalisations and you will find woke and non-woke women in every profession, but it’s about recognising where you’re more or less likely to find what you’re looking for.
Other targeting criteria could be geographic, for e.g, in towns, villages, and the countryside. Alternatively, you could look outside your country: Anglo and European (or Anglo/European descended people) live in many places, for e.g. in America and Canada, UK and Ireland, Europe, Australia and New Zealand, South Africa, South America, etc. Donald Trump’s first wife, with whom he had 3 kids: Donald Jnr, Eric, and Ivanka was from the Czech Republic. His third wife, with home he had Barron, is from Slovenia. So think outside the geographic box.
Another place to look is within groups or associations that are conservative leaning like churches, political or single issue groups, sports associations, etc.
Lastly, there’s the internet. Avoid apps like Tinder, but seek out dating sites where it’s serious people looking for a long term relationship. There are some prominent ones out there and you should be able to filter or match based on the criteria important to you.
5: Avoid Submissiveness
Society has taught men today to be nice, safe, inoffensive, sensitive, limp-wristed pushovers. Don’t be that. That doesn’t mean you should go to the opposite extreme and be aggressive or rude or arrogant. It just means don’t sell yourself out to this false ideal. Don’t bend over backwards to come across as ‘totally a nice guy’ - ‘the nicest and safest guy your date could ever meet.’ That’s just sad. It’s like a woman acting like a tough guy to impress you.
You want to lean into your masculine qualities, and project strength, self-assurance, and competence. That doesn’t mean you should try to be what you’re not. I know there are guys who are genuinely the sensitive type, geeky type, artistic or creative type, bookworm type, etc, which is fine. There’s women that like that, but if you’re struggling because of it, then maybe it’s worth putting some focus on developing yourself physically. Play a rough or challenging sport, or do weightlifting or martial arts (I recommend Brazilian Jiu Jitsu). Physical activities like this will help you develop strength, resilience, and toughness, which in turn will change the way you feel about yourself, and ultimately change the energy or aura you exude to others (including to members of the opposite sex).
6: Don’t Get Hung Up On Your Perceived Shortcomings
I mentioned in tip 2 that you should take an objective look in the mirror and identify areas you need to work on. But if there’s things about yourself you can’t change, then don’t get too hung up on them. Don’t turn them into a handicap.
So you’re ugly, or awkward, or shy, or short, or stupid, or bald, or poor, or whatever. Well guess what? For most of civilised history, and all around the world, ugly men, awkward men, shy men, short men, stupid men, bald men, poor men and many other types of men, have been married.
I know we all like to think of ourselves as unique, but we’re not. We’re just walking, talking cliches. There’s thousands of you out there, possibly millions if we zoom out to encompass the whole planet, so unless you look like the elephant man, there’s nothing so unique about you that means you‘re condemned to be single for eternity. If others guys can do it, so can you.
7: Fulfil Your Potential
Not getting hung up on your shortcomings doesn’t mean you shouldn’t seek self-improvement. If you’re fat, then as suggested earlier, start playing sport or exercising, and cut out or reduce unhealthy foods.
If you’re shy or awkward, then join a public speaking club like Toastmasters.
If you’re boring to women because your main hobbies are playing video games and watching TV, then take up more interesting and productive hobbies (something in the world of atoms, not of bits).
If you challenge yourself and focus on achieving meaningful goals then you will be better off for it, plus you’ll increase your chances of attracting the woman you want. Win win.
8: Understand That Normal Women Aren’t As Fussed About Politics
There’s a famous relationship book from the early 90s called ‘Men are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.’ I remember my parents had a copy, one of the 15 million copies it sold. The title of the book is a metaphor for how fundamentally different men and women are, and how these differences show up in relationships.
I think it’s important we recognise our differences are also present in the realm of politics. For example, there’s a difference between being anti-woke and non-woke. If you’re reading this, you’re probably the former, but it’s possible that the woman you want to attract will be the latter. That is, she may disagree with wokeism on some level, or find it odd or unappealing, but she isn’t going to get all worked up about it. She’s unlikely to ever read this blog or any others like it, and if she did, her eyes would either glaze over, or she’d be put off by the style or even the subject matter. There are always exceptions of course, but on the whole this is the way it is.
So it’s best to keep this side of you out of your dating life. Western women, even well intentioned ones with their eyes open, aren’t going to save the West, anymore than Chinese women would save China if they were in a similar boat to us, or Nigerian women would save Nigeria. Just as it’d be on Chinese and Nigerian men to save their nations, it’s 100% on western men to save the West. If it doesn’t come from us, it just won’t happen. So we don’t need western women to be angry, testosterone filled, and plotting mighty vengeance on the woke and globalist powers that be. They just need to be true to their nature, and we to ours. Save this sort of discussion for the guys - either online or offline - as it can put off decent women who are mainly focused on building a happy, secure life for themselves and their future family.
9: Adjust Your Expectations
What do I mean by this? I mean don’t expect perfection. Don’t ground your expectations for a partner in fantasy.
Things are often not what they seem, there are always trade offs, and if you’re only focused on finding someone you feel a magical connection or irresistible attraction to, well that can blind you to the reality of who the other person is and how compatible you really are (beyond the short term).
Maybe this will be unpopular advice, but I think first and foremost, you should seek someone whose values are aligned with yours when it comes to family, money, and life in general. This is critical, as misalignment in values is the source of so many major relationship problems. You should also find someone who you get along with, and someone you share one or more common interests with.
Attraction is nice, but it will fade away, and if it’s all you had, then you will be left with nothing. Many people discover this the hard way - don’t be one of them. Or if you have been one of them - don’t make the same mistake again.
10: Persist
You may go on dates with 50 different women that lead nowhere, and meet your match on the 51st. It’s just the way it is sometimes. The good news is that you don’t need to win over all 51 women, or 200 women, or 1,000 women, you only need to win over one. It’s a very modest goal. One, out of the millions of available women in your country and around the western world.
So why lose sleep if 50 women aren’t interested in you. Am I losing sleep over the millions of women in the UK that aren’t interested in me, or who wouldn’t be if they knew I existed? No. Because I don’t need to seal the deal with millions of women to feel validated or fulfil my purpose in life. I don’t need to win over a new woman each week, which is 52 a year or 520 a decade. That sounds like an awful lot of work with a very low chance of success. I only need to seal the deal once in a lifetime - that sounds pretty reasonable.
So if you’re single and think you’re struggling, perhaps reframing your situation from struggling or failing, to ‘it’s a numbers game and I’m making progress,’ is more useful.
There’s two numbers that matter here: the number one, which is how many women you need to win over, and the mystery number, which relates to how many women you must ask out, or go on a date with before you find your match. You can hopefully lower that mystery number by applying the tips in this guide. If all else fails, you could just become a trans lesbian.
Good luck.
Written by Arcadius Strauss.
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